PSA to my husband: For my next birthday I would like a flower subscription wherein I get a fresh bouquet twice a week. PSA to my snake plant: Why have you forsaken me?
But short of shelling out regularly for blooms or, you know, actually keeping my houseplants alive, I’ve found the next best solution: The new Bloomist eco-faux collection, or, as I like to call it, the absolute best faux flowers money can buy.
The first in the industry to introduce “green” fake botanicals, all of Bloomist’s offerings are sourced from certified resources whose materials can be traced: Petals and leaves come from 100 percent upcycled fabric or single-use plastic or PET bottles, biodegradable paper maché replaces Styrofoam and digital printing is used to reduce wastage and water use.
But all that aside, the florals are simply gorgeous. I recently got the 46” magnolia branch ($38) which I styled in a dramatic vase and staged on a side table at the top of my stairway (a spot that gets zero light…hence the snake plant woes.) And I swear to high heaven they look exactly like the real thing.
Suddenly, I wondered why I ever bothered with from-nature plants. Wasn’t the magnolia wreath ($35) a thousand times lovelier than anything I schlep home from Lowes each December? Wouldn’t the heirloom rose stem ($22) look fetching on my nightstand? And what would I do with my time now that I wasn’t worrying about rotting petals and overwatered soil?
Will I give up my green(ish) thumb entirely? Hopefully not. But am I into a floral arrangement that can permanently withstand my home’s darkest corners? You betcha.