20 Ways to Know You’ve Been Watching Too Much HGTV
Admit it: You’re addicted
We can probably all agree that HGTV was years ahead of Netflix in the binge-watching department. But while there are few things more enjoyable than three hours of back-to-back Beachfront Bargain Hunt, a line does need to be drawn. Below, 20 signs that you might genuinely need to cut back on your Home and Garden Television intake...
1. You are literally incapable of entering a room without mentioning the crown molding.
2. Or the valances.
3. Or the exposed brick because OH EM GEE!
4. And you use the word "shiplap" no fewer than 16 times a day.
5. You’ve stopped frequenting the mall in favor of Home Depot.
6. Where you’re always secretly expecting a camera crew to pop out and offer to renovate your bathroom.
7. The fact that you’re paying $500/square foot when you could just move to Texas and buy a $50,000 fixer-upper mansion is prompting an existential crisis.
8. As is the fact that your home isn’t properly up to code. (You knew you should have gotten a permit for that laundry room…)
9. You judge anybody who can’t see past wall colors.
10. But you’ve got mad respect for anyone willing to entrust their entire living room to that tattooed set designer with the pit bull.
11. You firmly believe that even the ugliest split-level can be resuscitated with an open concept floor plan.
12. And that even the worst of marriages can be saved by a double sink vanity in the master bath.
13. You spend 15 minutes a day karate-chopping your throw pillows.
14. Alternately: staging your kitchen with bowls of green apples (which your children are forbidden from eating).
15. And while you’re pretty proud of that chandelier you found at the Salvation Army and then spray painted persimmon...
16. Your secret wish is to own a power sander. (Because #originalhardwood.)
17. You’ve watched enough House Hunters to pass the real estate exam.
18. And enough House Hunters International to know the price nuances of Costa Rica.
19. And enough Property Brothers to have a strong opinion about which twin you’d rather sleep with. (Drew. Duh.)
20. And most importantly, you have absolutely zero clue where your weekend went.