Every Kind of Cheese, Ranked from Ew to OMG

It’s no secret that cheese is the best food in the history of the universe, but not all cheeses are created equal. Some are life-changing (oh hey, fresh mozzarella) while others are lame (ahem, cottage cheese). So we decided to make a definitive ranking of 34 kinds.

RELATED: The 15 Most Delicious Things You Can Do with Brie

Twenty20

34. American

Makes a passable grilled cheese if you’re at a diner and it’s 4 a.m. That’s about it.

RELATED: Skip the Butter and Use This on Your Grilled Cheese Instead

Twenty20

33. Cottage Cheese

Huh? We were so bored we fell asleep.

32. Limburger

Call us crazy, but we don’t want our charcuterie board smelling like feet.

poplasen/Getty Images

31. Camembert

…Or ammonia.

victoriya89/Getty Images

30. Stilton

…Or an old gym bag.

xfotostudio/Getty Images

29. Gorgonzola

Fine, we’ll eat it on a salad if there’s no feta.

delmonte1977/Getty Images

28. Swiss

We can eat twice as much because of the holes, right?

27. Humboldt Fog

Don’t worry: It smells worse than it tastes.

26. Roquefort

Amazing in small doses.

Twenty20

25. Cream Cheese

If it’s slathered on a bagel, we’re in.

RELATED: The Best Damn Bagels in NYC, Ranked

Twenty20

24. Parmesan

On every bowl of pasta forever, please.

LauriPatterson/Getty Images

23. Ricotta

On its own, yawn. In pasta? YEP.

badmanproduction/Getty Images

22. MASCARPONE

Ditto, but with cannoli.

Merinka/Getty Images

21. Gouda

Ehh. We’ll eat it on a cheese plate, but we’re not staying up all night thinking about it.

sugar0607/Getty Images

20. Feta

With watermelon? Yes, please.

RELATED: Grilled Watermelon Feta Skewers

19. Monterey Jack

Making all of our quesadilla dreams come true.

Juanmonino/Getty Images

18. Muenster

We’re suckers for those little red edges.

PicturePartners/Getty Images

17. Chèvre

Goat cheese instantly makes everything fancy.

16. Havarti

Dill is optional (but highly recommended).

15. Taleggio

Fontina’s smoother (but slightly smellier) sister.

skhowar/Getty Images

14. Colby

When you can’t decide between Swiss and cheddar. #Cheeseproblems.

13. Provolone

On every sandwich for the rest of our lives, please.

12. Gruyère

The tasty star of our fondue parties.

11. Pecorino Romano

You haven’t lived until you’ve eaten cacio e pepe smothered with Pecorino Romano. You just haven’t.

10. Fontina

Mmm, the meltiest.

9. Grana Padano

It’s Parmesan’s super-classy cousin.

8. Jarlsberg

Like Swiss, but a million times more flavorful.

Erin McDowell/Liz Andrew

7. Brie

Baked: the greatest holiday recipe that we secretly eat all year.

RELATED: The Definitive Ranking of All the Classic Christmas Foods

Twenty20

6. Cotija

Más tacos, por favor.

5. Asiago

Melt it, eat it cold, shred it on bread and bake it…this cheese is basically perfect.

4. Manchego

Slice it thin and pair it with fruit--it’s pretty much the best summer snack ever.

Twenty20

3. Cheddar

The sharper the better. Especially on BECs.

Hiromi Kudo/Getty Images

2. Mozzarella

Somewhere between slice two and slice three is our happy place.

1. Burrata

Hands down, the best food in the universe. Now if you’ll excuse us, we have some night cheese to work on.

RELATED: The 15 Most Mouthwatering Ways to Eat Burrata