Put on your eatin’ jeans. Pop a Pepto. It’s State Fair season.

Here, the nine foods that make a giant turkey leg look like child’s play.

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Deep-Fried Starbucks at the San Diego County Fair

Can’t live without your daily double-tall latte? Get it in dessert form here. This version takes finely ground Starbucks coffee (infused in sweet pastry dough) and fries it, dusts it in sugar and serves it with whipped cream. Somehow, we don’t envision the Olsen sisters toting this version.

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Mac & Cheese Cupcake at the Minnesota State Fair

Introducing a savory cupcake made with macaroni and cheese and a breadcrumb crust--and topped with Cheez Whiz icing. (Googles recipe for next weekend’s BBQ.)

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Wine-Fried Kale Chips at the Minnesota State Fair

You know the kale trend has come full circle when it’s hit the fair circuit. This version is obviously less blender-friendly and is deep-fried in red wine. Ya know, for added antioxidants.

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Ice-Cream Burger at the Florida State Fair

Take your average bacon cheeseburger and add a scoop of cornflake-fried ice cream. It’s kinda like eating a burger while sipping a milkshake (and ruining whatever it is you’re wearing).

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Fried Watermelon at the Arizona State Fair

Doesn’t prevent stomach bloat.

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Krispy Kreme Chicken Sandwich at the California State Fair

Fried chicken meets glazed doughnuts in the form of a sandwich. This is pure gluttony (i.e., heaven) on a bun, but a leaf or two of lettuce makes you slightly less likely to shame eat it in the Grandstand bathroom.

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Fried Jelly Beans at the New England State Fair

The old-fashioned candies are rolled into funnel-cake batter, which is fried until it's golden brown. Each puff is topped with powdered sugar and tastes like childhood in one perfect bite.

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Fat Elvis On a Stick at the Wisconsin State Fair

Here’s the deal: A Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup is dipped in banana batter, deep-fried and served on a stick. Then it’s topped with chocolate and bacon sauce, and finished with a healthy dose of bacon sprinkles. Where’s our Bedazzled jumpsuit?

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Fried Beer at the Texas State Fair

Beer is good. Beer-filled ravioli is…interesting. Strangely enough, the alcohol stays intact, and you must be 21 years old to buy these nuggets of brew. Science lessons can be fun, so we’ll take a sixer, please.

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