It’s an incredibly invasive question, and whether you plan to have kids or not, chances are you’ve been asked it before. We’re talking about the dreaded “So, when are you having kids?” question. Asked by well-meaning friends and mothers-in-law alike, this rude conversation starter is often made without much thought behind it: The asker likely isn’t considering that a) You are trying and aren’t having any luck, b) You might not be able to have kids for medical reasons, c) You simply don’t want children or d) It’s none of their damn business.
But, we’re sorry to say, none of the above will occur to the busybodies you’ll inevitably come across. To help guide you through this question with grace, we teamed up with therapist Irina Firstein for some insight behind the pesky inquisition and some smart things to say in response when you’d otherwise be lost for words—or left with only a choice few. Deep breaths (and the points below), girl.