50 Valentine’s Day Jokes for Kids

You’ve stocked up on candy hearts and craft supplies, and you’ve even managed to get your kid to write a sweet note to their teacher. But if you really want to get your child into the spirit of the holiday, try one (or all!) of these Valentine’s Day jokes for kids. We guarantee they’ll have the under 10 set giggling (and the sound of your kid’s laughter is sweeter than any chocolate bar).

1. What did one bee say to the other on Valentine’s Day? I love you, honey!

2. What did the watch say to his girlfriend? Will you be my Valen-time?

3. What did the fruit farmer say to her sweetheart? I love you berry much.

4. Where did Picasso take Monet for Valentine’s Day? The heart museum.

5. How do you know a banana is in love? He’s head of over peels.

6. What did the mommy lizard write in a Valentine’s card for her baby lizard? You're one in chameleon!

7. What did the egg sandwich say to the orange juice? Don’t go bacon my heart.

8. How do Jedis say “I love you?” Yoda best!

9. Knock knock
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!

10. What did one piece of bread say to the other on Valentine’s Day? I loaf you you a lot.

11. What Valentine’s Day message was in the squirrel’s card? I’m nuts about you!

12. What did one scientist say to the other? I’ve got my ion you.

13. What did the flame say to the candle on Valentine’s Day? We’re a perfect match!

14. What do you write in a sheep’s Valentine’s Day card? I love ewe!

15. What did one ketchup bottle say to the other? I love you from my head tomatoes!

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16. Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad to be my Valentine?

17. What did the daddy cat say to his kitten on Valentine’s Day? You’re purr-fect.

18. Which Whitney Houston song did the two birds dance to on their wedding day? I will owlways love you.

19. What did the cucumber write in the pickle’s Valentine's Day card? You mean a great dill to me.

20. How did the lettuce ask the spinach out on a date? Here’s my number so kale me maybe?

21. What did the piece of gum say to the shoe? I'm stuck on you!

22. What did one octopus say to the other on Valentine’s Day? I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.

23. What did one Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle say to the other? You are turtley awesome!

24. What do you call a ghost’s sweetheart? Their ghoul-friend.

25. How did the farmer propose to his girlfriend? With hogs and kisses.

26. What do you call two turkeys on Valentines Day? Baste friends forever.

27. What did one lightbulb say to the other? I love you watts!

28. What's the most romantic sea creature? A cuddlefish.

29. What did the scientist write to the other in her Valentine’s Day card? We’ve got good chemistry.

30. What did the barista say to the other? I love you a latte.

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31. What is Cupid’s favorite band? Kiss.

32. What did one dolphin say to the other? I’m whaley glad we’re friends.

33. What did one french fry say to the other on Valentine’s Day? You are one hot potato.

34. What did one tiger say to the other? I’d be lion if I said I didn’t love ya.

35. How did the shark propose to her boyfriend? I chews you!

36. Knock knock
Who’s there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frank you for being the best!

37. Why did the fig take a prune out? Because he couldn’t get a date.

38. What’s the most romantic shape? Acute triangle.

39. What’s the most popular ship on Valentine’s Day? A relationship.

40. What did the apple say to the pear? You’re one in a melon.

41. Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day? Because they’re scent-imental creatures.

42. What do slugs say on Valentine’s Day? Will you be my Valen-slime?

43. Knock knock
Who’s there?
Howard
Howard who?
Howard you like to be my Valentine?

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