When I gave birth to my son—now a full-blown toddler—two years ago, I counted myself lucky to have hit the jackpot when it comes to mom friends. After all, I had met not one, not two, not three, but four cool ladies who lived in my same zip code and were pregnant at the same time. They were also smart, hilarious and willing to text back and forth at all hours of the night about everything from late-night feedings to sleep regressions to whether or not we really were to blame for maternal gatekeeping with our spouses. (Guilty!)
But what started as a middle-of-the-night text chain about mom stuff quickly blossomed into a deep and meaningful group friendship that touched on so much else. There were play dates! And park hangs! And the clichéd but also much-needed moms’ nights out for wine! Still, our most common bond stemmed from the fact that our kids were in sync for every milestone. What they say is true: New parenthood is an identity shift like no other, so finding women you actually like, who “get it” and who are available to commiserate about all the minutiae is a rarity and a gift and a lifeline all in one.
Then it happened: The first of my four mom friends had news. I knew she’d been trying, but it was official: She was pregnant with baby number two. The second friend got pregnant soon after. (And on the first try—whoa.) I felt self-inflicted pressure to have “the talk” with my husband about my own timeline for a second kid. But it hit a fever pitch when friends three and four shared they were also expecting. I was officially the odd mom out.