Scan this QR Code to follow PureWow on Snapchat!
PureWow

Graduating is stressful as it is—you’re moving on to a completely new chapter in your life. Throw a pandemic into the mix, and all those feelings of angst and uncertainty are specifically amplified for the class of 2021. But sometimes a little humor (and a special gift, wink wink) can help combat those, “Oh my god what is happening everything is changing ahhhh!!” feelings. Check out these funny graduation quotes that are sure to lighten the mood. Write them in a card, read them at a virtual graduation party or send them to that one friend who really needs it. Either way, you can’t go wrong with some sound yet amusing advice from Amy Poehler, Ellen DeGeneres and Cardi B.

RELATED: 51 College Graduation Gifts for the Class of 2020

funny graduation quotes 1

1. “If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.” -Muhammad Ali

Related Videos

funny graduation quotes 2

2. “You are graduating from college. That means that this is the first day of the last day of your life. No, that’s wrong. This is the last day of the first day of school. Nope, that’s worse. This is a day.” -Andy Samberg

funny graduation quotes 3

3. “If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.” -William Lyon Phelps

funny graduation quotes 4

4. “Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.” -Ellen DeGeneres

funny graduation quotes 5

5. “My dear terrified graduates, you are about to enter the most uncertain and thrilling period of your lives.” -Lin-Manuel Miranda

funny graduation quotes 6

6. “So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you’re on the right track.” -Ed Helms

funny graduation quotes 7

7. “As you set off into the world, don’t be afraid to question your leaders. But don’t ask too many questions at one time or that are too hard because your leaders get tired and/or cranky.” -Will Ferrell

funny graduation quotes 8

8.“A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.” -Theodore Roosevelt

funny graduation quotes 9

9. “Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.” -John Green

Funny graduation quotes Will Durant

10. “Education is a progressive discovery of your own ignorance.” – Will Durant

Funny graduation quotes Cardi B

11. “Congrats and don’t let no coronavirus ... take a special moment from you…Make sure you research careers that is around the money that you want to make in the future. And make sure you research a career that is like OK, ‘When I finish and I go get a job, is this job gonna help me pay my college debt? Is it gonna help me live the lifestyle that I want?’” -Cardi B

funny graduation quotes 10

12. “A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.” -Robert Orben

Funny graduation quotes Neil Gaiman

13. “Be wise, because the world needs wisdom. If you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would.”- Neil Gaiman

funny graduation quotes 11

14. “Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.” -Garry Trudeau

Funny graduation quotes Napoleon Hill

15. “Big pay and little responsibility are circumstances seldom found together.”-Napoleon Hill

funny graduation quotes 22

16. “When I was your age, we didn’t have the internet in our pants. We didn’t even have the internet not in our pants. That’s how bad it was.” - Richard Costolo

Funny graduation quotes Ann Landers

17. “The Lord gave us two ends: one to sit on and the other to think with. Success depends on which one we use the most.” -Ann Landers

Funny graduation quotes Fred Allen

18. “I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.”-Fred Allen

Funny graduation quotes Amy Poehler

19. “Try putting your iPhones down every once in a while and look at people’s faces. People's faces will tell you amazing things.”- Amy Poehler

funny graduation quotes 16

20. “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” -Mark Twain

Funny graduation quotes James E. Ryan

21. "Each year at graduation, I am obliged to offer a few 'brief remarks,' which are usually not as brief as they should be." - James E. Ryan

funny graduation quotes 24

22. “Just remember, you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets."- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Funny graduation quotes Milton Berle

23. "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."-Milton Berle

funny graduation quotes 20

24. “Remember, when it comes to applying for jobs, books are judged by their cover.”- Patricia Akins

Funny graduation quotes George W. Bush

25. “To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States.”-George W. Bush

fuuny graduation quotes 17

26. “The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.” -Jon Stewart

Funny graduation quotes Norm Crosby

27. “My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.”– Norm Crosby

funny graduation quotes 15

28. “The road to success is always under construction.” -Lily Tomlin

Funny graduation quotes Lawrence Lowell

29. “Of course there’s a lot of knowledge in universities: The freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don’t take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates.”-Lawrence Lowell

Funny graduation quotes Greg Tamblyn

30. “At graduation you get to wear a cap and gown, but it’s a good idea to also wear something underneath it.”- Greg Tamblyn

Funny graduation quotes Vidal Sassoon

31. “The only place where success comes before work is the dictionary.”-Vidal Sassoon

Funny graduation quotes Robert Goheen

32. “If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you.”- Robert Goheen

Funny graduation quotes Carol Burnett

33. "We don't stop going to school when we graduate." Carol Burnett

Funny graduation quotes George Foreman

34. “I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I’d be a college graduate today.”-George Foreman

Funny graduation quotes Bill Watterson

35. “So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.” -Bill Watterson

Funny graduation quotes Doug Larson

36. "The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate." Doug Larson

funny graduation quotes 18

37. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.”- Bette Reese

funny graduation quotes 23

38. “You will find the key to success under the alarm clock.”-Benjamin Franklin

funny graduation quotes 19

39. “The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don’t do it. I have been out there. It is a mess.”- Russell Baker

Funny graduation quotes Michael Jordan

40. "I mean we all fly. Once you leave the ground, you fly. Some people fly longer than others."-Michael Jordan

funny graduation quotes 21

41. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” -Sarah Brown

funny graduation quotes 14

42. “Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what’s going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.” -Stephen Colbert

funny graduation quotes 12

43. “Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.” -Erma Bombeck

funny graduation quotes 13

44. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” -Will Rogers

Funny graduation quotes Gary Bolding

45. “Your families are extremely proud of you. You can’t imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.”- Gary Bolding

From Around The Web