4 Ways to Feel Closer to Your Spouse When You're Breastfeeding
When you’re nursing, whether your nugget is brand-new or you’re weaning your third toddler, it can feel like there’s not much room for more people in the equation. And since you already have enough on your plate (like, oh, sustaining a human life), a partner’s desire for attention or intimacy can seem downright…babyish. But breathe deep. There are simple ways to get everyone’s needs met—including a few of your own.
Make him your nursing Sherpa
Yes, the boobs are all you. But when your partner’s around, ask him to bring you water (in a fancy carafe because—hello?—elegance), the boppy, that specific pillow you need under your knees, burp cloths, blankets and any other accessories that can turn your 4 a.m. feed into a nurturing experience for both you and your baby. He wants to feel useful? Let him.
You nurse, he takes over
When you’re desperate to squeeze more shut-eye into your newborn’s all-night nurse-a-thon, doing the lying down on your side, exposed armpit, feed-in-your-sleep move seems like such a no-brainer. Until the 3:14 a.m. poop that inevitably follows. Guess what, Guy? That burping, changing, swaddling, walking-the-entire-length-of-the-apartment-for-45-minutes-until-she-falls-asleep-again routine is all you.
Reinvest in your friendship
If there was ever a time to bend him to your will and make him watch The Crown with you, it is now. Studies show nursing can seriously diminish a mom’s libido. But it’s not just Prolactin suppressing our sex drives; we’re half-bonkers from lack of sleep, we’re touched-out from toddlers in the throes of sibling rivalry, and our confidence is buried somewhere beneath that pile of dirty yoga pants and sweaty, spit-up-stained kimonos on the floor. It’s believed that sex drive often amps back up once we start ovulating again—but of course nursing generally delays all that. While you wait, this suggestion pulled off a La Leche League message board makes so much sense: “Making love isn't the only way to be intimate with your spouse. There are other possibilities. Take turns reading a book or article to each other while baby is nursing or napping. Cook a meal together. All these are little things that can put some excitement back into a marriage.” So Netflix and chill—but, like, actually chill.
Send him this link
In news that will surprise zero women, science proves we want to have sex with people who do household chores.