With a Healthy Attitude Towards Marriage, Self Care and Child-Rearing, Chilli from 'Bluey' Is the Ultimate Mom Icon

Like most parents, I had resigned myself to the understanding that children’s programming was mostly terrible, featuring repetitive storylines, atrociously bad writing and gender stereotypes offensive enough to make you want to quit the Paw Patrol and never wear pink again…all set against a backdrop of fluorescent colors and cheesy tunes. So, imagine my surprise when I came across a show that not only was delightful to watch (both in my preschooler’s eyes and my own), but also featured an animated anthropomorphic dog that—and I don’t mean this ironically—is a role model for moms everywhere.

For those not familiar, Bluey is an Australian kids’ show about a family of dogs: dad Bandit, mom Chilli and their two young daughters Bluey and Bingo. It’s funny, sweet, and manages to achieve the seemingly impossible when it comes to kids’ TV: to be engaging but not overstimulating, educational but not pedantic and—most importantly—actually enjoyable for the parents too. (It also incredibly has a following among non parents.) Each episode centers around the regular domestic happenings of this young family, typically through the lens of a wacky game that the kids have invented. But what the show is really about is the magic (and exhaustion) of child-rearing.

No small part of the charm comes down to the matriarch, Chilli Heeler. Chilli is funny, down to earth and quietly cool; she reminds me of my favorite mom friend from my son’s class. In other words, she’s exceedingly relatable and just the right amount of aspirational.

Like in the episode “Baby Race,” when Chilli perfectly captures the pressures of being a first-time parent. The new mom is stressing over Bluey’s crawling and walking, even asking the doctor if there’s anything wrong with her. And look, I have two kids now so some of that parenting anxiety has definitely lessened but you’d better believe that at my daughter’s one-year appointment last week I had a list of questions for the doctor about whether or not her behavior was “normal.” The pressure is real, people.

But’s she’s also largely a calm and joyous presence in her children’s lives—and isn’t that exactly the type of mother we all aim to be? She prioritizes playtime with her kids while making time for self-care (“I need 20 minutes when no one comes near me!” she declares in one episode, echoing touched out parents everywhere.) She holds boundaries lovingly and firmly, but will also lose her cool when the occasion calls for it (in “Sticky Gecko” Chilli tries to get everyone out the door on time and eventually explodes in exasperation… a nearly daily occurrence at my house).

Is it any wonder that Chilli was InStyle Australia’s February cover star?

“She’s juggling motherhood with a return to work in airport security; she gets involved in family games but not without the odd sigh; she tells her daughters to ‘stick it to the man’ while also offering quiet, insightful counsel; and she loves dancing with her sister and listening to Pink Floyd,” reads the magazine’s profile of the character.

But it’s her relationship with Bandit that I find most compelling. Chilli and Bandit’s marriage is sweet yet realistic—the two often exchange eye rolls or exasperated glances at their kids’ antics, even in one episode admitting how much easier their lives would be if they had two Bingos instead (look, we all have a favorite kid, OK?). Even when they disagree (and they do—an entire episode is dedicated to it), they manage to fight fair by injecting humor and “talking” rather than squabbling.

Another reason why I love the Chilli and Bandit dynamic? She seems to leave the vast majority of parenting to dad. Is this how most heterosexual couple dynamics play out? Don’t kid yourself. But is this an aspirational setup? You bet. Bandit may not be perfect, but he is definitely not half-assing fatherhood (in one episode, his daughters ask him why he sits at his computer desk on a yoga ball rather than a chair. “Because I wrecked my back changing your nappies,” he replies). He’s imaginative and always available for whatever zany game the kids have cooked up. Is it any wonder that Bandit makes many dad viewers feel guilty by comparison? To which I say—how refreshing for the media to instill DAD guilt for a change!

Chilli also knows the secret sauce to a lasting relationship—good humor and keeping your spouse on their toes. For the latter, see the “Hammerbarn” store episode when Bluey tries to steal her sister’s pizza stone and breaks her pretend husband in the process, aka a garden gnome, and Chilli says: “This is what happens when you’re unhappy with what you’ve got. Someone’s husband eventually gets it.” Hear that Bandit?

Whether she’s worrying about the kids, prioritizing family-time and self-care or letting dad take the reins, Chilli just gets it. And I get to absorb her parenting wisdom while lying down on the couch with my 3-year-old sitting happily beside me.