The good news: Your little brother has finally found a woman special enough to marry him. (Oh, she works the blackjack table? How unique!)
The bad news: They want you to give a toast at the wedding...and you have no clue where to start.
May we suggest The Oratory Laboratory, a New York-based speech-writing company that pens orations on your behalf?
Get started by contacting Oratory’s husband-and-wife founders, Nathan Phillips and Victoria Wellman. (He’s an American comedian; she’s a British journalist and voiceover actress.) Let them know a bit about your needs (sermon? eulogy? TED Talk?) and answer a questionnaire about the speech’s specifics.
Phillips and Wellman will then get to work writing. They’ll send you drafts for approval and, once you’re happy, set up a Skype meeting so you can practice performing the speech. They might tell you to go slower on the intro or pause for light laughter after that killer joke. In any case, they’ll get you prepped to knock the crowd off their feet.
Pricing starts at $400 for a five-minute wedding speech--and they can turn text around in as little as one week.
Their one piece of free advice? Don’t try to memorize your masterpiece. You’ll end up focusing on your delivery instead of giving a memorable toast.