21 Things That Are Normal Only in the Hamptons
When you’ve spent a fair number of summers out east, you start to forget that what’s normal here isn’t exactly…well, normal. Here are 21 things that every Hamptons regular understands (but no one else does).
1. “Rosé all day” is not just an expression—it’s real life.
2. And everyone drinks rosé from a can at the beach, even though drinking on the beaches is technically against the rules.
3. Paying $15 for a container of guacamole is an unavoidable reality.
4. Everyone refers to their house as a cottage…even when it’s a mansion with eight bedrooms and an infinity pool.
5. You’ll complain about the crowds, but your FOMO will get the best of you and you’ll head to the Surf Lodge anyway.
6. You run into Alec Baldwin at dinner. A lot.
7. There are somehow more dogs than people.
8. Every excursion will be preceded by 20 minutes of strategizing how to beat the traffic.
9. And you’ll still spend hours on Route 27 and not understand why.
10. Despite the fact that you’re surrounded by gorgeous beaches, you always end up at the pool.
11. And every pool has at least one inflatable swan.
12. It’s not at all weird that everyone understands the rules of polo.
13. You know at least one person who arrives in the Hamptons via helicopter.
14. Even if you scoff at the people waiting for Cronuts and cookie dough back in the city, you’ll queue up at Tate’s Bake Shop without batting an eye.
15. You’ve mastered the art of packing a giant towel, body sunscreen, face sunscreen, your Kindle, those rosé cans, snacks, a phone charger, an extra caftan and a change of shoes into a modest 14-by-20-inch beach bag.
16. Not only will you eat your body weight in lobster rolls, you’ll have full-blown debates about Maine versus Connecticut style.
17. You’ll go to Scoop du Jour not for the ice cream but for the doughnuts.
18. At any given time, there will be a Billy Joel song playing within earshot.
19. You can spot the Hamptons newbies a mile away—you know, the ones who look a little too dressed up—and you smile as you remember how in awe you were your first time.
20. You’ve had everyone from your second cousin to your sister’s high school boyfriend invite themselves to your Hamptons rental.
21. Your brain knows NYC is the center of the universe…but your heart would always rather be in the Hamptons.