27 Things Only People from Florida Will Understand
Life’s a beach and we’re just playin’ in the sand
Yes, we live where everyone vacations. Yes, we're lucky to have perfect weather year-round. And yes, we sometimes forget to stop and smell the saltwater. But sometimes it can seem like nobody north of the Panhandle understands what the hell we're all about. Here, 27 things you'll get only if you're from the Sunshine State.
1. The state capital is NOT Orlando, and if you thought otherwise, you deserve to wither in a theme park line for the rest of eternity.
2. You haven’t lived 'til you’ve stood on the pristine white dunes of Sandestin or Sanibel.
3. Or 'til you’ve been to the “World’s Largest Cocktail Party” in Jax for the annual Gators-Bulldogs rivalry.
4. Or 'til you’ve had authentic Key Lime pie.
5. You definitely start any meal with seafood. Bonus points if you caught it yourself.
6. And you obviously got your learner’s permit at 15 and your license on your sweet 16th…just so you could cruise through your friends’ gated communities without supervision.
7. You’ve had to scrape lovebugs off your car more times than you care to remember.
8. And you have actual scars from searing-hot seat-belt buckles in the middle of July.
9. You’re used to over-100-degree temps for seven months out of the year, and 80 for the rest.
10. You spent most of your summers in air conditioning (centralized, of course) or in some body of water.
11. But, my God, when it gets down to 50 for that one week in December, you are all about the Patagonia pullover and telling everyone that the pond is freezing over. (Even though it definitely isn’t.)
12. You understand that South Florida could be its own state.
13. But that it wouldn't be half-bad to retire to Boca and eat dinner at four in the afternoon.
14. You have a working knowledge of golf courses.
15. You habla at least a little Español.
16. You have at least three friends with the last name Garcia (not related).
17. You definitely have some sort of feelings toward the Heat, the Dolphins, the Bucs, the Jags, the Marlins, the Rays, the Magic, the Lightning and the Panthers.
18. But you’d rather not even get started on Casey Anthony.
19. You have no idea what “good hair weather” means.
20. Most people assume you were just born “tan.”
21. And your hat collection consists of only three varieties: straw, visored and baseball.
22. You’ve obviously driven a boat.
23. Also a Jet Ski. (Like a thousand times.)
24. Your “garage fridge” is always stocked with Zephyrhills and popsicles, even in the middle of winter.
25. You’ve never understood what everyone’s in such a hurry for.
26. Or how anyone could be rude to a stranger.
27. Because, like Jimmy Buffett said, it’s always five o’clock somewhere.