The 13 People You See at the Uptown Whole Foods
From free loaders to DILFs
Between the construction on every corner and that darn trolley, we thought traversing Uptown couldn’t get any more difficult. Then a new Whole Foods opened on McKinney.
But we’ll tell you why it’s worth the trip: the people watching.
Here are the 13 types of people you’ll see once you set foot inside the door. (And we know, dear reader, that you are none of these.)
The Multitasking Mom
How she pushes the cart while nursing we’ll never know…
The Gym Rat
The fitness freaks flock from the Gold’s Gym across the street to refuel in between reps.
The Basic B
Because a pumpkin spice latte and sky-high wedges are requirements for grocery shopping.
Snagging samples of everything, from challah bread to nine-grain crackers with salmon spread. Leave some for the rest of us, will you?!
She looks perfect in her Lululemon ensemble while her overly smocked twins torment the unassuming cookie baker. Seriously, there’s free fruit up at the front in the Kid’s Zone.
Need we say more?
You’ll find a crowd of them in the Tap Room at five o’clock, sipping craft brews before heading home up North. The ’burbs, man.
The Dog Smuggler
Look, lady, we know you’re hiding a Lhasa apso in that oversized purse.
The Cheese Snob
Cambozola versus Montrachet: Always agonizing over the perfect wedge. (You have a Merlot in your basket, so go with the Cambozola, obvi.)
You’re from Waxahachie (or so says your T-shirt), walking all slow, touching everything and just taking it all in.
The Organic-Living Wannabes
Hey, we saw you downing cheap margs at Mattito’s last night. Buying organic avocados today ain’t going to make up for it.
The SMU Student
The contents of her cart say it all. And so does her payment method (dad’s credit card, FTW).
We’ll shop for fair-trade coffee with you anytime, Chace. And we won’t even ask for a selfie.