Smart-Ass Answers to Relatives’ Questions: Christmas Edition
Our guide to holiday snark
So you made it through Thanksgiving dinner--congratulations. Next up, Christmas. Before throwing yourself to the wolves, internalize these smart-ass answers to annoying questions. Then start counting down the days until December 26.
Aunt Dorothy asks: So are you seeing anyone special?
You answer: You know, there’s this one guy who hangs out outside Starbucks and always stares at me, so…
Your sister-in-law asks: Can you believe Bruce Jenner says he’s a woman now?
You say: Totally! I hear she’s dating Scott Disick.
Your cousin’s husband asks: What does a social media analyst even do?
You say: Well, I can explain it to you, but I definitely can’t understand it for you.
Your annoying neighbor asks: I mean, do you want to get married?
You say: Oh my God, are you proposing? Yes, yes, a million times YES!!!
Uncle Bill asks: So who are you voting for, Pumpkin?
You: Take a roll from the breadbasket, butter it, shove the entire thing in your mouth and walk away.