The Official 2016 Academy Awards Drinking Game
Sip, sip, sip
Real talk: The Oscars are boring. We'll obviously be watching, but aside from the occasional absurdly unscripted moment, the show is pretty snoozy. (Leo won? You don't say!) Luckily, we've got a little trick for spicing it up: Turn it into a drinking game. Specifically, this drinking game based on all the things that will probably definitely happen at this year's ceremony.
Take one sip:
When a presenter’s joke falls flat.
When an older celebrity who’s been there, done that looks ready to go home.
When a young celebrity who you don’t recognize makes a political comment on the red carpet.
When someone curses and the censors don’t quite get it on time.
Whenever someone mentions how long the show is.
Whenever Chris Rock mentions how white the audience/Academy is and the room reverberates with nervous laughter/self-congratulatory applause.
Take two sips:
When a British person wins an award.
If an American person comments on how many British people win awards.
When someone feigns a self-deprecating comment about how he or she needs to get out his or her glasses to read the prompter.
If the teleprompter stops working.
When the winner ignores the music playing him or her off.
Or remarks on how heavy the statuette is.
If a musical number goes on for too long. (Don’t worry, it will.)
For every clearly intoxicated celebrity you see. Cheers, Glenn Close.
If a presenter busts out laughing in a way that indicates that they think the scripted banter they’ve been asked to read is totally inane.
If a presenter pronounces someone’s name wrong.
Take three sips:
If anyone has a wardrobe malfunction.
When Jennifer Lawrence trips or does something else that's contrived and aimed at endearing her to the everyperson.
If Meryl Streep wins an award she wasn’t nominated for.
When a winner says hi to their kids and tells them to go to bed.
When the camera catches a loser not losing gracefully.
Finish your drink:
If Sylvester Stallone wins, then runs up the steps, Rocky-style.