34 Ways to Know You’re a Real New Yorker
How many of these have you done, just this week?
Some say it takes living here for five years. Others claim a decade. But we think the mark of being a true New Yorker is less about the time spent and more about the ability to hail a cab in Midtown at rush hour.
So we rounded up 34 ways you know you belong here.
1. You’ll wait an hour for a bar stool at Momofuku.
2. But if those tourists in front of you at Starbucks ask one more question about Frappuccinos…
3. You live for the first day of rooftop season.
4. Your first question upon meeting anyone new is “Where are you in the city?”
5. Then, “Ugh, how did you score such a great place?”
6. And “…do you mind if I ask how much you pay?”
7. You fold the slice. No exceptions.
8. You went three years only knowing your neighbor as “guy who loves Taylor Swift to an alarming degree.”
9. Your outfit (and method of transportation) is dependent upon your shoes.
10. Every time you visit relatives, they tell you you’re walking too fast.
11. And ask why you’re wearing so much black.
12. You know exactly where on the subway to stand to be closest to your exit.
13. You’re immune to the smell of hot trash.
14. And mystery sidewalk drip.
15. You have a deep, emotional attachment to your portable phone charger.
16. You basically crumple into a ball on Friday nights.
17. You’ve mastered the art of remaining calm (well, externally) when Ryan Gosling passes you in Whole Foods.
18. And you’re personally only, like, three degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon.
19. You could debate Levain versus Magnolia all day.
20. You think a 3x2-foot metal terrace constitutes an awesome outdoor space.
21. You ship online purchases to your office.
22. You’ve taken the freaking water taxi to Ikea twice.
23. Even though you still haven’t made it to the Empire State Building.
24. Your single greatest disappointment in life is never winning the Dave Letterman lottery.
25. You remember Williamsburg.
26. And Orchard Street.
27. And, hell, even Little Italy.
28. You consider real-estate listings for one-family brownstones your porn.
29. You’re suspicious of grocery stores with parking lots.
30. You lament the fact that your favorite dive bar is now a Duane Reade.
31. But secretly wept with joy when Le Pain Quotidien opened next to Sheep Meadow.
32. You’re confident that the subway rats definitely…probably…hopefully won’t migrate from the tracks to the platform.
33. You have the perfect Liz Lemon gif for any email exchange.
34. But deep down, Elaine Benes is your real spirit animal.