19 Things That Are Normal Only to Angelenos
Freeways, DL celebrity spotting and that one fall leaf
You’re driving, caffeinating and living your life here in Los Angeles, so sometimes you forget just how unique it is here. Read on to see what’s completely normal to you, that might not be to, you know, people living outside of paradise.
1. A heart-shaped clump of flowers on a packed freeway perks you up when you’re in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
2. Worse than running out of gas is when your car’s phone recharging cord stops working.
3. You’re shocked that there are still movie theaters that don’t let you choose your seat ahead of time. And worse, when the seats don’t recline. How are you expected to sip on your wine upright?
4. If someone asks you where the nearest subway stop is, you have no idea.
5. Jen Aniston goes to your Coffee Bean. Kerry Washington sees your ob-gyn. And you chatted with Iron Man in line at the DMV. No biggie.
6. When it rains, you’re terrified to drive because that thin layer of water is like black ice, right?
7. But also, rain! The drought is over! (Um, no.)
8. Your cell-phone reception was crystal-clear on that trip to Thailand, but you have zero bars in the Hollywood Hills.
9. You think nothing of consulting Waze and then Google Maps and then taking your own route anyway.
10. “Geographically undesirable” doesn’t just apply to apartments, it also applies to your dating life.
11. Below 70 degrees, you’re breaking out the wool sweaters.
12. You have two personalities: Your normal self and your road-rage self.
13. You wouldn’t dream of asking what someone paid for their home, but you also don’t hesitate to Zillow their address to find out.
14. Other places have snow, but you get sinus-headachy and insanity-inducing Santa Ana winds.
15. You saw a slight orange tinge to a leaf the other day and thought, Wow, fall is really popping.
16. Hiking is the new golfing, even for the non-sporty and ambivalent outdoorswoman.
17. Hearing your friends tell you about their latest chakra experience, 12-step program, guru or boot camp is just book-club chat.
18. You have two giant handbags. One is an actual purse, and the other is called your car.
19. “Did you feel the earthquake?” is no more alarming than “Did you catch the Dodgers game?”