In nine minutes, you could watch the first third of an episode of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. You could also clean your gross BeautyBlender. Or, in the interest of educating yourself and gathering conversational ammunition for your next summer cocktail party, you could read one of the following fascinating articles, about everything from Missy Elliott and Paris Hilton to a Beatles songs and iguana hospitals.

RELATED: 15 New Summer Thrillers That Will Have You Sleeping with the Lights On

june longform elle
Mark Seliger for Elle

If you’re into badass women...

Read a rad profile of Missy Elliott that will have you streaming her music for the next three weeks. (Elle)

june longform ny times
Karsten Moran for The New York Times

If you think your doctor’s waiting room feels like a zoo...

Read about a medical center on Manhattan’s Upper West Side that exclusively treats exotic animals. (The New York Times)

june longform paris
Mayan Toledano for W Magazine

If you remember when everyone used to say “That’s hot”...

Read about the surprisingly vast influence Paris Hilton has had on our culture over the past decade. (W Magazine)

If you read the news today (oh boy)...

Read a fascinatingly in-depth account of how The Beatles wrote “A Day in the Life,” and just how impressive a song it is. (The Atlantic)

june longform wired
Payton Hartsell for Adweek

If you’re just now getting the hang of Instagram...

Read about the Florida teen taking over Musical.ly, a social media platform that you’ll get around to learning in a year or so. (Adweek)

june longform digg
Christen Smith for Digg

If French fries are life...

Read about what would actually happen if you ate only potatoes. (Digg)

june longform guardian
The Guardian

If you can’t remember the difference between “continual” and “continuous”...

Read about 35 words you’re probably using incorrectly. Guilty… (The Guardian)

june longform adweek
Cait Oppermann for Wired

If your eyes well up every time you get a paper cut...

Read about a man who literally doesn’t feel pain, and a woman who feels it constantly. (Wired)

RELATED: 7 Books We Can’t Wait to Read in June

From Around The Web