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Will Tom Brady deflate his balls? Which candy will Katy Perry cover herself in? How can we be friends with Mindy Kaling? We may not have the answers to all those questions, but we do have the basic info you’ll need for Super Bowl-party small talk.

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THE MAJOR PLAYERS: SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

Don’t forget the names of defending champs Russell Wilson (the quarterback we kinda want to babysit) and Richard Sherman (starting cornerback and notorious crazy person).

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THE MAJOR PLAYERS: NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

Yeah, yeah, Tom Brady, blah, blah. The one to watch is secondary hottie Julian Edelman. He may be the current wide receiver, but he’s a former quarterback who recently led a trick play and chucked a 51-yard touchdown.

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#DEFLATEGATE

OK, back to Tom Brady, who’s mired in controversy right now. Here’s what happened: During the semifinal game against the Colts, it was discovered that 11 of the Patriots’ 12 game balls weren’t inflated to the NFL standard--thus making them easier to catch and less likely to fumble. Oversight or conspiracy? Don’t worry, you’ll hear plenty of opinions for both.

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MUSICAL GUESTS

Halftime is all about Katy Perry this year, but she recently told the Today show that her “first” special guest would be Lenny Kravitz (leaving bets open for a Juicy J cameo). Oh, and “The Star-Spangled Banner” will be screamed by Idina Menzel.

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COMMERCIAL BUZZ

Sure, you can easily hop on YouTube to see most Super Bowl ads in advance, but we won’t spoil the fun. All we’re gonna say is Mindy Kaling is a national treasure.

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BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY...MINI FOODS

Now that you’ve got all your talking points prepared, let’s get back to what we actually care about: the snacks.

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