We Need To Talk About Wife Bonuses
And 4 other crazy-bananas things we learned from “Primates of Park Avenue”
In Primates of Park Avenue, author and Upper East Side anthropologist Wednesday Martin makes some pretty shocking discoveries about motherhood in New York City’s most uppity borough.
Here, five of the book’s most shocking revelations about how the one-percenters to the right of Central Park live.
STAY-AT-HOME MOMS EARN WIFE BONUSES FOR GOOD PERFORMANCE
According to Martin, SAHMs in the tony neighborhood earn a year-end reward paid out by their hubby based on their parenting performance. Did a good job managing the home budget? Got the kids into a good school? That could earn you more than five figures.
DINNER PARTIES ARE SEGREGATED BY GENDER
On the Upper East Side, women and men sit in different rooms to eat their supper, Martin claims. No, this isn’t Downton Abbey--we’re talking present day.
SAHM’S SPEND $95K A YEAR ON THEIR LOOKS
For these “Manhattan Geishas” upkeep costs include haircuts and colors, Botox, juice cleanses, wardrobes for different locations (Hamptons, Palm Beach and Aspen). Not included: Ubers to get to and from their appointments.
THEY ALSO ANESTHETIZE THEIR FEET
Guess that’s one way to cure heel pain. According to Martin, Upper East Side moms get shots of anesthetic from their podiatrists to numb their feet--the true antidote to a night on the town.
STILL, NANNIES WIELD THE POWER
SAHMs are at the mercy of their highly trained nannies, who make serious bank for the care they provide. According to Martin, Upper East Side nannies command a salary that’s over $100K a year, plus paid vacation, health care and holiday bonuses. Oh, and world travel by private jet.