Smart-Ass Answers to Relatives’ Annoying Questions
You will not be bested this Thanksgiving
Is it something about tryptophan that causes relatives to ask the most invasive, inappropriate questions? This Thanksgiving, come prepared with quippy answers to all their annoying probes.
Your mom asks: “Gee, is it hard being the only single one left in your generation?”
You answer: “Gee, is it hard being the only one who doesn’t know how to work the Roku player?”
Aunt Ida asks: “When are you going to try for that second baby, honey?”
You answer: “Tonight. Why do you think I’m serving oysters?” (Wink, wink.)
Cousin Max asks: “How on earth do you afford that apartment on a teacher’s salary?”
You answer: “Funny, I used to wonder how your ex-girlfriend afforded her breasts, but I was too polite to ask.”
Grandma Mildred asks: “Why does your brother always bring his friend Steve? And when will he quit it with that fashion design business and just settle down with a nice girl?”
You answer: In sign language. Then smile and help yourself to more stuffing.