Is it something about tryptophan that causes relatives to ask the most invasive, inappropriate questions? This Thanksgiving, come prepared with quippy answers to all their annoying probes.
Your mom asks: “Gee, is it hard being the only single one left in your generation?”
You answer: “Gee, is it hard being the only one who doesn’t know how to work the Roku player?”
Aunt Ida asks: “When are you going to try for that second baby, honey?”
You answer: “Tonight. Why do you think I’m serving oysters?” (Wink, wink.)
Cousin Max asks: “How on earth do you afford that apartment on a teacher’s salary?”
You answer: “Funny, I used to wonder how your ex-girlfriend afforded her breasts, but I was too polite to ask.”
Grandma Mildred asks: “Why does your brother always bring his friend Steve? And when will he quit it with that fashion design business and just settle down with a nice girl?”
You answer: In sign language. Then smile and help yourself to more stuffing.