15 Things No Grown Woman Should Have in Her Closet
Remember “going out” clothes?
While it’s true that trends are cyclical and fabric is reusable, certain things--like low-rise jeans and red-wine victims--are better left in the past. Clear your closet (and conscience) of these 15 items so you can make room for the new. Marie Kondo would approve.
1. Old bridesmaid dresses. Trust: You are never going to wear them again. But some cash-strapped prom-going teen absolutely will.
2. Old Halloween costumes. That prepackaged "sexy Girl Scout" costume still reeks of club smoke--and regret.
3. Truly, madly painful heels. A slight pinch in your favorite date-night pumps? Whatever. A pool of blood in those cage sandals you saw a Hadid wearing? What are you thinking?
4. Anything stained or holey. You’ve tried cleaning. You’ve tried mending. Now try purging.
5. Bras that could double as a slingshot. Yes, they’re expensive to replace. But yes, your ladies are worth some frequent elastic refreshing. (A new bra can take off five years in the shape department.)
6. Panties that could double as dental floss. Do you really need an explanation why?
7. Leggings that are now practically sheer. Downward-facing dog gets real explicit real fast.
8. Bodycon dresses. Specifically the ones that make you feel lightheaded and constipated at the same time.
9. Ill-fitting suits. Specifically the one you wore to your very first job interview.
10. Guilty impulse buys. Just because you once went a little crazy with your Bloomingdale’s card and really thought buckle-lined jodhpurs were gonna take off doesn’t mean you’re beholden to looking at them every day…ten years later.
11. Comically low-rise jeans. Britney’s “Slave 4 U” days are over. Your mom no longer has to pray every time you pick up your keys. And your closet has better things to house, like a tasteful pair of mid-rises.
12. Velour tracksuits. Same era, same logic. Nothing says, “I have zero style and disposable income” faster than a towel-like matching set from 2004.
13. Festival wear. Love outdoor music all you want. Just maybe don't hold onto things that make it look like you barfed up a Free People catalog.
14. Old Greek-life function T-shirts. Of course you don’t want to just toss them. But maybe consider some kind of storage situation till you can pass them onto your little legacy.
15. “Skinny clothes.” Anything you’re saving for “when you finally lose those last ___ pounds” will just be a negative reminder in your face every single morning. Instead, reward your diet-and-exercise goals with something new. You've suddenly got so much space.