Say what you want about Williamsburg’s $7 cortados, there’s no denying that Brooklyn (no, not just Bedford Avenue) has some of the greatest food, art, culture, parks and beaches in all of NYC.
Take that, Manhattanites. Here are the 33 things you just don’t understand about us.
1. Nothing describes the joy you feel when the G train arrives just as you’re walking down the subway stairs.
2. ...And there’s nothing more crushing than running up just as the doors close.
3. But the best pierogies on earth are off the G, so it’s (almost) worth the wait.
4. And when you live off the G, your boss always understands if you’re late to work.
5. You roll your eyes when Manhattanites ask how you actually get to Brooklyn. (Steamboat! Old-timey bike with a huge front wheel!)
6. ...And then they have the nerve to ask how you’re going to survive when the L train shuts down. (Shh, we honestly don’t know.)
7. And if your 17-year-old cousin from Ohio asks if your life is like Girls one more time… (OK, we admit our go-to coffee shop looks a lot like Ray’s.)
8. On Saturday afternoons, Bedford Avenue is so crowded with tourists from Manhattan, there’s a line out the door at your favorite artisanal cheese place.
9. And you’re a little embarrassed you’ve become addicted to artisanal cheese since moving to Brooklyn. But mmm, cheese…
10. ...And you’ve also gotten hooked on farm-to-table restaurants, even though you admit paying $15 for kale salad with goji berries is ridiculous.
11. You buy your lox at Shelsky's, your meat at Union Market, your olives at Sahadi's and everything else at Fairway. (Totally worth renting that Zipcar.)
12. And you live and die by the rumors of that Wegmans opening up at the Navy Yard.
13. You love pretending you’re suburban for the day and going to Target in Atlantic Terminal Mall. (OK, it’s overcrowded and picked-through, but reasonably priced pillows! Lamps! Nail polish!)
14. UberT has greatly improved your quality of life on cold, rainy nights.
15. And you have access to an entire fleet of green cabs that Manhattanites can’t steal.
16. Broadway, Shmroadway. We’d rather see the Next Wave Festival at BAM than your overpriced musical about founding fathers, anyway.
17. In fact, you'd never go anywhere in Manhattan on a weekend. The F train isn't working and it's not like you're dying to elbow drunk publicists for a bar seat anyway.
18. Prospect Park is your summer happy place, and it’s way less crowded than Central Park.
19. …And there’s nothing more calming than walking through Brooklyn Heights on a beautiful spring day.
20. In August, your street is full of kids taking “Brooklyn showers” in the fire hydrant like it’s 1952.
21. No matter where you walk in the borough, you can chat on your phone without being constantly interrupted by sirens.
22. You happily dodge doublewide strollers in Park Slope for an everything bagel with lox from Bagel Hole.
23. You know that some of the best movies ever were filmed in Brooklyn. Do the Right Thing, Moonstruck, Dog Day Afternoon and Saturday Night Fever ring a bell?
24. And even though a bunch of the exterior shots in the movie Brooklyn were actually Montreal, the gorgeous Coney Island scene makes up for it.
25. Cherry blossom season at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden is just as beautiful as it is in D.C.
26. You can pop into a little café in your neighborhood and read a book without having to make a reservation a week in advance.
27. You obsess over real estate neighborhood nuances--like the difference between a two-bedroom walk-up in South Slope and three-bedroom garden level in Greenwood Heights. (Totally different neighborhoods, people!)
28. But your dream is to own a brownstone in Fort Greene. Because: Sesame Street.
29. You would sooner lease a condo in HELL than move to the Upper East Side.
30. But sorry, you’ll never call your neighborhood BoCoCa, no matter how much your realtor tried to make it a thing.
31. Brooklyn is home to the best sunset view in the entire city--in, yep, Sunset Park.
32. But even the view from your rooftop makes your Manhattan friends weep.
33. ...And then you tell them how affordable your rent is, and they decide to move here, too.
