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the

Pump-Up Guide

30 Reasons to Get Excited for 2015

January
Jan 6

The Consumer Electronics Show kicks off in Vegas

Bendable phones and “predictive wearables” are all the rage. (They see you when you’re sleeping…they know when you’re awake.)

Whatever, agave

The cool girls are now sweetening their lattes with coconut sugar.

Jan 11

Awkward-hilarious indie series Togetherness premieres on HBO

Think Girls, if the dysfunctional characters had kids and mortgages.

Jan 25

John Galliano shows his first collection as creative director of Maison Martin Margiela

Hopefully keeps anti-Semitic comments to himself.

February
Feb 14

Fifty Shades of Grey arrives at your local multiplex

(We hear the climax is amazing.)

Feb 22

Neil Patrick Harris hosts the Oscars

Forces no celebrities to awkwardly take selfies with him.

Feb 27

House of Cards returns for a third season

Claire, Tusk, Meechum: Who will Frank push in front of a moving subway this time?

March
March 20

For 2 minutes and 47 seconds,

A Total Solar Eclipse

will plunge the world (but mostly Iceland) into total darkness. Well played, Björk.

Ch-ch-changes at the Late Show

Letterman is out (tear) and Colbert is in (huzzah).

April
Apr 1

Seattle becomes the first
city to institute an

$11 Minimum Wage

The Mad Men final season debuts on AMC

Don joins a monastery, Peggy makes partner and Trudy becomes a militant feminist radical. (What? We can dream.)

A 98-pound Kate Middleton births the second royal baby

In a fit of jealousy, Prince George develops violent diaper rash.

May

Madonna releases a new album

in collaboration with DJ/producer Diplo, further proving that 56 is indeed the new 23.

Burn, baby, burn

The ’70s are back, and off-the-shoulder tops reign supreme.

May 15

Three words

Pitch Perfect 2

June

Negative-space nail art

(Ask your manicurist.)

Your mother can stop monitoring your eating habits

Thanks to the release of BitBite, a dime-sized wearable that helps you make smarter food choices. Unclear if it will learn to mutter, “Such big portions. Who could finish all that?”

July

Craft soda is
the new craft beer

Portugal is
the new Croatia

Air-dry is the
new blow-dry

(Sorry, Drybar.)

August

All that CrossFit got you feeling sore?

restorative yoga replaces hot yoga as the trendy new weekend ritual

Aug 31

The US Open kicks off at Arthur Ashe Stadium in Queens, New York

Never before has Flushing Meadows seen so many hot Frenchmen.

September

You can now buy the 2016 Mazda Miata

Or as we like to call it, “the best thing for your sex appeal since the push-up bra.”

National Book Award winner

Jonathan Franzen is back with a new novel

about a Snowden-like whistle-blower.

October

Everyone who’s anyone will be eating kohlrabi

Aka “the hot new hipster cabbage.”

Capes, schmapes

This fall is all about the gigantic robe coat.

November

Hello, iOS9

Fingers crossed for a voice-activated assistant that sounds less like Siri and more like ScarJo.

Nov 8

It’s T-minus one year to the presidential election

Ladies and gentlemen, start your mudslinging.

December
Dec 15

The European Union bans all roaming charges

Go on, call your grandma in Bulgaria from your villa in Milan.

Dec 18

Dorks everywhere break out their lightsabers and see Star Wars Episode VII

It stars Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and… Adam Driver. (Yes, seriously: Adam Driver.)

Illustrations by Kim Hogan